My ideal of love is always the same

the unconditional love

He told me that

whoever can achieve that kinda love

is not human

only HIM. 

only HIM can give me the unconditional love.

no, I said

it's not true

it can never be true

my ideal of love is not only an ideal

but an experience I got it from the past

and I am craving for more and more

till it becomes an ideal, the perfect one

and it's all comes from him

friends of mine are planing to go somewhere far

out of Malaysia

out of this already explored world

to somewhere new

to somewhere god knows where

so mum called

asked why, why and more why

that I am not joining them

obviously

I am just another broke undergraduate student

with hundreds in my pocket to survive with my dinosaur ego

that I cannot ask for money from anyone

it makes me feel like I am an OKU

that I am already 21 ,and still I cant feed my own self.

I have no extra for any more luxuries

though travel is definitely not a luxuries for me

travel is like studying

I need to travel to learn more

it's like knowledge, never can get enough of it.

guess what

guess what made me tears drop like waterfall

mum quoted the conversation with dad

mum: girl says she wants to go travel with XXX, she wants a thousand from you 

dad: drive me to my factory, I am working extra time.

unconditional love

the love is real

I can feel it

I can see it

I can even hear it

and it's all came from him

him, my daddy

this is the love I am looking for in the world

to fill the void in my heart.

I am blessed 

since the day they created me.